Jenny writes of sleep. It was my turn with Madelyn tonight. We are on night two of the Big Girl plan: “Neither Mama nor Daddy will rock you to sleep, or lay down in your bed with you.”
After books, I put her in bed, and Madelyn patted the pillow next to hers. “Daddy’s pillow,” she said. Argh. Two nights ago, I couldn’t wait to get done coaxing Madelyn to sleep. Tonight? I sat in a rocking chair looking at my girl and wished I was next to her. Lumper seized the moment and got in my lap–a rare occurrence since Madelyn was born. I found myself thinking backward and forward at the same time: calling my Papa from California to say Erin was pregnant; tucking in my girls our second day at home; reviewing a thousand lulllaby sessions with Nat King Cole and Tom Waits and the Cowboy Junkies; anticipating schools and friends and skinned knees yet to come.
Madelyn fell asleep quickly tonight. I rocked silently in the chair long after I knew she was out, listening to her breathe and dream. I’m going back there now.