I’m still wishing for scenarios which include one of our two former governors currently residing in Federal prison.

Clicking the help or troubleshooting delivers the same error.

Um… so, make it match the drivers license… as long as it’s 2-25 characters! In that case, tough tiddlywinks, I guess.

Hat in hand the U.S. Auto Industry lined up for their slice of government aid and it appears as of this posting that they will get the money they are asking for. These titans spent years hiding behind the “free market” shibboleth when convenient (the market wants gas guzzling SUV’s) and when punished by that same market we hear that they are victims of factors outside their control and that they are “too big to fail.” It has become a hackneyed expression precisely because it summarizes the situation so well; this is the privatization of profit and the socialization of loss.

from Catch 22: Too Big To Fail, Too Big To Succeed.

I find some oddly similar cognitive dissonance in the MLA’s hat-in-hand foray into my inbox. Dear MLA executive committee: we wouldn’t need to subsidize graduate student travel to the MLA convention if it was held in more affordable locations.

This message, including any attachments, contains confidential information intended for a specific individual and purpose, and is protected by law. If you are not the intended recipient, please contact the sender immediately by reply e-mail and destroy all copies. You are hereby notified that any disclosure, copying, or distribution of this message, or the taking of any action based on it, is strictly prohibited.

• This was sent from the address “DoNotReply@tiaa-cref.org”. So how can you “contact the sender immediately by reply e-mail”?
• Taking action based on the content of the message is “prohibited.” Does that include contacting the sender?

It would be nice if TIAA-CREF would stop futzing with lawyerese and spend their my money making their web site less abominable.

This email is intended only for the use of the individual or entity to which it is addressed and may contain information that is privileged and confidential. If the reader of this email message is not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any dissemination, distribution, or copying of this communication is prohibited. If you have received this email in error, please notify the sender and delete all copies of the transmittal. Thank you.

This from a state employee, to boot. Do the folks who write these think it’s still 1738? Or are they the same lawyers who gave us the “You have no rights” license agreements? I much prefer this one for its honesty.

So, let’s write our own email EULAs:

1. AGREEMENT. 1. This is a legally binding contract between the Reader and the Writer. 2. The Reader agrees to pay the Writer $42,000,000.00 million dollars in Swiss Francs. 3. Now!
2. This email is about to explode. EVERYBODY PANIC!!!!!
3. ANTI-CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: This email was written by an employee of the State of Illinois in the course of normal business, and may be subject to disclosure as per public records and open meetings laws. Exceptions for students, of course. If you expect this email to be confidential, I would like to speak with you regarding an excellent business opportunity. I don’t use PGP, so why the &#(@! would I expect this email to be confidential, anyway?

As another example, Sven Birkerts, the literary critic, has a post in the Boston Globe, Lost in the blogosphere, that is almost indescribably self-involved.

My emphasis, indicating the best description of Birkerts I’ve ever read.

In other ethical news, an Illinois law passed last year or so requires that employees have to perform periodic ethics training. Dave Banash and I joked that the law was designed to bring newbies like us up to speed on money laundering, kickbacks, and the like.

Last year it was some web-based foolishness with definitions followed by scenarios and multiple choice questions. “John is offered a gift by Bob, who is bidding on a RFP John’s office has issued….” Etc. I’d like to see Illinois liven this up a bit. Why be hypothetical? Why not use real Illinois ethical scandals? We’ve certainly no shortage of them here in the land of corn and beans…

• The wife of a friend of Governor Blagojevich is awarded a state job. Soon afterward, he gives Blagojevich’s son $1500…
• An attorney who defended former Gov. George Ryan failed to disclose a conflict of interest…

Corruption–an Illinois tradition!

Miró was the subject of the latest Google Doodle. How did the profiteers who manage the “rights” to his work react to this tribute? A cease and desist order!

Had Miró—who was heavily influenced by contemporaries such as Picasso and Bréton—been subject to similar legal action, we would have little art which bears his name today.